The Power of the Mind - STOP, CHALLENGE, CHOOSE

Something that I used to say when I would try diets and fall off the wagon was, “I have no willpower”. I thought this was great excuse. I was okay with blaming my lack of control on the invisible impulse in my brain that forced my hand to reach for “another” cookie. It wasn’t me choosing a bigger portion… it was my lack of control making decisions. I felt powerless against the unbelievable strength of this abstract force. How could I ever win against this concealed villain???

One of the main things that I have learned through this program (which has been different than the other attempts I have made to lose weight and failed to keep off), is how to get control of my willpower/mind. Early in my health journey I was watching a Habits of Heath video call and the speaker was sharing how he had trained his mind to resist temptation. He shared that he had found that he would see the temptation, STOP and literally breathe (like 3-4 deep breaths), CHALLENGE himself to remember (or even visualize) his health goal and then CHOOSE the option that would take him closer to his goal. 

BUT - the part of this that most resonated with me was when he said he had to practice that process about 20 times before it became an actual habit. WHAT??? The way my mind had worked for nearly 40 years wouldn’t be changed after 1 try? I would have to do this over and over again to see mental change? Boo. 

So the next Sunday after church when I walked past the spread of sin on the refreshment table I tried this tool. I STOPPED and stared at the platters of cookies and delicious no-bake peanut butter balls that I love so much. I took 3 deep breaths. 

During those breaths: 

I remembered my health goal. 

I remember how I had lost 25 lbs and that this program works. 

I remembered that all week I had been on program and my body was working efficiently in fat burn. 

I remembered that I had a growing pile of clothes to donate  that were now too big. 

I remembered that I can now paint my toenails without losing my breath. 

I remembered that I could now sit in our recliner with both mine and my sons rears fitting in the seat… rather than him “on” me.

I remembered that…. 1 peanut butter ball was not worth losing my focus on my goal and I CHOSE to walk away.

I’ll admit, I was kinda lame to not partake in the sugary indulgence.

But I was STILL IN FAT BURN. 

So that was a huge win!!! And I went along feeling like a champion and believe it or not, passing on that peanut-butter ball didn’t ruin my day or life. 

The next week, as I passed the sin table at church I did this process again. 

And the next week I did it again… and again… and again.

We went to parties and I did this process in my mind. 

We went to restaurants and when ordering I used this tool. 

My evil husband brought chips into the house (my favorite) and I walked my brain through this process. 

Learning to think like this was was not an instant change and honestly now 7 months into maintaining my weight loss, I still use this system when faced with temptation. (And sometimes, I chose that yes, I will have a glass of wine or whatever it is… but in moderation and in accordance to maintenance mentality). 

I learned during these past holidays that if I throw out this mind tool, my old habits are more than excited to take control and try to convince me that 2 pieces of cake are better than one. 

That old mindset is a jerk and a liar. 

My old mindset doesn’t like that I feel good and can run and play with my kids without losing my breath. 

My old mindset doesn’t like that a generational cycle is changing and my kids are learning to eat healthy. 

My old mindset doesn’t like the confidence I now feel when I look in a mirror. 

That old mindset is not my friend. 

We broke up and I never want to hang out with it again. 

I want to encourage you to try to use this tool when faced with temptation. When you get to the 20th time of trying it I betcha you have a new habit of health!

For more information to the practice of STOP, CHALLENGE, CHOOSE you can learn more on pg 241 of Dr. A’s Habit of Health or you can check out his website at this link: http://www.drwayneandersen.com/2012/11/17/exercise-stop-challenge-choose/

A Taste of Inspiration

Today I am excite to share a testimony of a husband/wife team that have been working together the last couple of months on getting healthy. I am so proud of these two! Madi and Spencer are supporting and encourage each other toward health and are both focused on their goals - WHILE GOING TO COLLEGE FULL TIME AND WORKING FUL TIME JOBS! It has been such a pleasure to share this journey on them and celebrate their victories.  

Here's a few words from Madi:

"My husband Spencer and I decided we needed to make a health change in our lives, we wanted to do this before we started having children of our own. When we were talking about making a change we knew we wanted to create a healthy mind before we bring kids into this. I want to be able to feed my children healthy foods and create a healthy mind for our children while they are young. I work in a daycare and I see how easy it is to just take the easy route and go through the drive through with the kids for dinner. I just know that is not what I want to teach my children, I want them to have healthy habits. My husband and I were seeing people around us getting sick or complain about back problems or other pains and I knew this would be us if we didn’t make a change. 

We have been doing TSFL since October 2016 and we have come a long way but we still have some work to do. So far I have lost 22 pounds and my husband has lost 42 pounds; that is in 3 months of work and through the holidays. After I started doing TSFL I realized I would like to help other people find this wonderful health program so I became a health coach myself. I love seeing other people reach their goals and feel good about theirselves. 

When we first started TSFL we had to learn how we would work it for our busy life (we both work full-time and are full-time students in college). We took meals that were easy to eat on the road or in the classroom at school. We figured out how to plan out our food for our day by laying out the TSFL meals we would be eating so we would be prepared for the day and also plan in advance when we would eat our regular meal. We also had to train our bodies to drink more water. The easiest way I found was to use my 30oz cup (you are supposed to drink half your body weight in ounces) and I would get three of those in a day.

Learning what works for you and how you will change your mind to be healthy is the way to go. I am so happy I chose this healthy journey and I can’t wait to see our end results."

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I always enjoy hearing what habits of health people find help them in their journey. Like Madi and Spenser, I too have found that having a plan for all meals for the day is such a helpful tool in finding success. And really, this is one of the more important habits that we will carry into transition and will use to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.

Congrats Madi & Spencer! You are an inspiration - keep working toward health!

Eat, Drink and Enjoy Life!

Happy New Year! 

We just returned home from a whirlwind trip to California to see our family and friends. While we ran at a crazy pace and did a ton, 10 days still wasn't enough time to see everyone and do everything I had hoped to accomplish.  I guess I need to start planning our next trip!

My Health Coach Team

While in California, I was able to attend a gathering with other TSFL health coaches on my team. It was a great time of visiting and sharing and encouragement. Our topic of discussion was "dreaming". Personal dreams, family dreams, business dreams. There were dreams shared for financial health, physical health, strengthened marriages, career advancement and fun bucket-list items. While people shared, it occurred to me how I tend to not give myself much permission to dream. I'm talking about the next level up from setting goals... dreams for an abundant future. As I started thinking further ahead than next month and bigger than what is right in front of me I started to catch the excitement and insight of the things that I would like to accomplish in this life. Last year at this time I had a dream of going to Hawaii and feeling confident that should a camera catch a picture of my body I would be comfortable with what I saw. That dream/goal was accomplished... but what now? What's the dream for this year? How about the next 5 years? In 15 years my kids will be out of the house... where do we want to be then?

As I sat listening to the ladies sharing, it dawned on my that only when I finally reached the 5-year cancer free mark last September have I started dreaming of a future again. Cancer has a crazy way of paralyzing the mind and stealing hope. Before that appointment I only felt I could dream a few months out at the max.... like if I dreamed too far out maybe I would jinx my future. Anyways, there has been a new freedom born in being "statistically safe" and able to hope and dream again. 

This year the word I want to chase is "Abundant". To live a life abundant in God's grace and enjoying all of the gifts of this lifetime. This verse caught my attention last year and I decided it would be a pretty perfect life verse for me... I mean after all, it's instruction to eat, drink and enjoy life!!!  

So I have a couple trips planned with family and friends this year to be sure I "enjoy life". My dreams for this year include continuing the quest for "balance" in mind, body and spirit that I sought in 2016 and I want to maintain the gift of health so that I can live life to the fullest.

My husband and I are working on defining our personal and family short term and long term dreams and will be having a "family meeting" soon to hear each others desires so that together we can move toward a future.  I know we will have different dreams but if we work together we can eventually get where we are going. 

Do you dream?

Have you thought about what you want out of this year?

How about where you want to be in 5, 10 or 15 years?

What will you do to get there?

What do you need to change to reach those goals?

How much do you need to save up?

Whatever it is that you are searching for in life, whether it is health, relationships, fun or financial - go for it! Identify what is is that you want and start dreaming. 

May 2017 be a year full of blessings and FUN!

Merry Christmas Eve!

The Clause-a-Meter is off the hook here in our home with Christmas spirit and excitement! Not only are we excited for Christmas morning, but we are all looking forward to traveling to California for hugs, fun and catching up with family and friends. 

Christmas Morning 2011

Leah was 18 months and Nate was 4 1/2. 

Our family has had our fare share of lousy Christmases. I recently came across these photos of Christmas morning 5 years ago when I was going through chemotherapy. I remember trying to smile and enjoy the day... but at that time I really believed I was living through my last Christmas. My smiles were for the kids. I watched the littles open gifts thinking about how I wouldn't ever get to watch them have this kind of excitement again. I remember I had to go to the ER two times that December because I had fevers, was going septic, and my organs were shutting down (went through that twice). I remember surviving the day... rather than celebrating it. 

It can be really hard to see good sometimes when life has dealt you a bad hand. In retrospect... I was learning the value of health (amongst a host of other life lessons). It has been a long five years of healing. The process of living beyond cancer is so much more than just a physical fight as finding mental and emotion health can be equally as difficult. I look back in amazement and grateful for the storm... and in awe of the rainbow! This Christmas is 100% different - and for that I am thankful!

When you are a pastoral family, the weeks leading up to Christmas (and Easter) are long and exhausting. Preparing the church for a service to celebrate the meaning of the season is fun and takes long hours. As a family, tonight we look forward to our special time after the candle light Christmas Eve service to rest together and watch our Christmas Eve favorite; "It's A Wonderful Life".  My favorite part will be at the end of the movie when the brother comes home from New York and says "A toast to my big brother George: the richest man in town." 

I know I will cry because I do every single year. 

And then George will find this letter:

And I will reflect and think about how blessed I am to have such incredible friends and family.

How blessed I am to have smart and healthy kids. 

How blessed I am to have a loving husband that I have fun with daily. 

How blessed we are to have been called to serve the people in this church. 

How blessed I am to have found health and the amazing support system at TSFL. 

How blessed I am for the opportunity to be a health coach and share this hope with others. 

And how this year I can finally, truly celebrate being healthy in a whole new way that I never knew was possible. 

Friends, thank  you for your friendship. 

Thank you for your role in this journey this past year. 

Thank you for honestly sharing your goals with me and trusting me with your reality. 

May you have Christmas full of love, hope and laughter!

Merry Christmas, 

Kelly

But What About My Kids???

One of the most common discussions that I find myself having with folks is about how the rest of their families will adjust to a new lifestyle of healthy eating. The beautiful truth is that you will start a ripple effect and YOUR FAMILY WILL GET HEALTHY TOO!!! 

Our kids watch us. 

The good. 

The bad.

The questionable. 

They are watching. 

They are watching us choose a salad over fries. They are watching us chose water over soda. They are watching us chose fruit over potato chips. And we have the power to SHOW them how to work for and enjoy health! 

Can you even imagine creating a lifestyle where your kids walk a path to better choices? What if our kids could avoid the struggles and frustration that we have endured maintaining a healthy weight? What if we taught our kids how to snack and eat meals in a way that fuels their bodies rather than feeds an emotion?

What? 

You’re kids don’t like healthy food? 

They won’t eat it? 

Neither would mine. 

A year ago my daughter REFUSED to eat any veggies. She would sit there and stare and sometimes even cry when faced with anything green. She was even prescribed an iron supplement to help make up for her lack of iron that was missing from not enough veggies. My son would only eat cooked trees (broccoli) and raw peppers, celery and carrots. Nothing more and he detested salad. 

(Now, I know a few friends/family that have/had incredibly picky eaters that put my kids to shame in their will to stand up against food - and to those of you, my sympathy is with you. This is not a fun part of parenting and I realize you may be dealing with texture issues and other elements of your kids eating habits that you have to endure. I know it’s not a simple fix for you. I’m sincerely sorry for the hell your kid creates for you every time they eat.)

Anyways, back to my picky eaters. When I made my eating lifestyle change last January I learned a bunch of stuff about me and about my kids (and husbands) eating issues. In no particular order here’s what I learned: 

• If I don’t buy them processed junk, they don’t have processed junk to eat. 
• If I make their snack options fruit, cheese, yogurt and veggies. They will eat fruit, cheese, yogurt and veggies. 
• If I don’t pull into McDonald’s for a quick meal, they cannot eat it. 
• If I am feeling lazy and am not in the mood to cook them dinner and I chose to swing through a drive-thru and grab them a quick fix… that is what they will eat. 
• If only when we eat out they are allowed to have soda it will be a special treat and not a daily habit. At the house we drink water… cause its free and they can get it themselves and our bodies need water.
• If I give them just a little bit of veggies… like 3 little pieces of lettuce covered in dressing or 1 piece of broccoli or 1 spear of asparagus, they are able to choke it down and they recognize that I am making an effort to not kill them & I really just gave them a “little like I promised. (The treat of “I will give you more” works great during this phase of transition.)
• Nobody dies if we don’t have bread and potatoes with every meal. 
• There is a way to make chicken, fish, beef, pork taste good. I now try to kick it up a notch with fun spices and cook in a way that everyone want to eat it. 
• Dessert is not required and for us and was really just a bad habit we were teaching our kids. 
• And on one of the survival shows I learned that before starving people will resort to eating bugs and drinking nasty stuff before they die. So I can sleep at night knowing my kids aren’t going to perish if they chose to not eat a meal. 

So, I’m guessing that you are wondering what our dinner table is like 12 months after our life change change began. Well, while my son still prefers to fill up on meat, he will eat a little bit of salad without freaking out and has learned that he likes cooked zucchini, asparagus and cauliflower. One of his favorite foods is my homemade tomato soup and he will try a bite of anything based upon my promise that I will never give him something I wouldn’t eat myself. My daughter now eats a decent amount of salad and will eat at least a bite or two of whatever other veggie she is given (without whining). She continues to eat just a little bit of meat… but knows that she needs to eat enough before leaving the table so it’s not as painful of an ordeal anymore.

We still have Mac and Cheese and Spaghetti O’s in the pantry. They still get chocolate milk every once in a while and they were allowed to keep their Halloween candy. We’re trying to teach balance and moderation with a focus on health. 

I want to finish by sharing a proud mom moment with you all:

A few months ago we went to BJ’s as a family. While selecting the kids meals I offered the kids the side choices of: curly fries, smilie potatoes, fruit, applesauce or broccoli. They chose fruit and applesauce and my son even made a comment about wanting to be healthy. I seriously started to cry - you can ask my husband… he thought I was ridiculous and started laughing at/with me. They chose health! They chose a 35 calorie fruit cup over a 350 calorie portion of french fries! They did it when I gave them all of the options - they decided on their own! I sat there with tears in my eyes thinking maybe, just maybe, my kids could lead a healthy life where they don’t have to diet and struggle like we have. And maybe the healthy decision will be the obvious choice in their future. Only time will tell… but I want to do my part to lay out that path for them.

Friends… when we get healthy our families get healthy!!! It’s our job to teach our children healthy decision making and health life skills. Eating healthy is one of the many things that we are responsible to teach them. It is literally our job!

*** If you would like to learn about this optimal health program that has not only changed my body shape and clothing size but also my mind and outlook on life I would love to share - just ask. It’s not a magic pill and I promise the work and discipline is totally worth it! 

Permission To Make Your Health A Priority

Is it just me or do you feel like there is temptation EVERYWHERE this time of year??? I feel like the only way to escape it is to avoid leaving the house... but even then my kids are somehow bringing in cookies, gingerbread houses and literally bags of candy to try and throw me off my game. Somehow everything is "special" and calls for sugar! I will not be taken down by even the sweetest of peanut brittle - I will beat Christmas and all its delicious temptation!

This week I had an experience that I bet everyone reading this can identify with. I was in a group setting and had done a good job eating a balanced and healthy lean/green style selection from the buffet line.  As others got up and got their dessert I refilled my water glass and then continued with conversation avoiding the dessert table all together.

And then it happened....
Well-Meaning Friend - "You HAVE to try this!"

Me - "I'm fine, no thanks."

WMF - "No, seriously... you need just one bite."

Me - "Thats okay, I don't really like pie." (Complete lie!)

WMF - Moving their fork towards my face: "One bite and you will LOVE pie! Just try it."

I didn't eat it. (Insert applause here.)
But this situation got my mind going as we finished up our visit.

If I had a peanut allergy, I certainly hope someone wouldn't be trying to get me to take "just one bite" of peanut butter cup.

If I had diabetes, I would hope that people would accept my "no, thank you" as enough of an answer and not try to kill me with cake.

If I just hated the taste/smell of coffee, I would hope that nobody would shovel a spoonful of mocha royal in my face causing a gag reflex.

So WHY is the desire to stay healthy and resist the temptation of sweets met with a challenge and questioning from our social circles? WHY does choosing to say no make me feel guilty, like I am hurting somebodies feelings? WHY do I feel like I need to eat food for other people? WHY?

And that's when what I have been learning for the past year was once again confirmed in both my head and heart. I need to feel confident supporting my food choices the same away someone with an allergy or medical condition would. After all.. obesity is a medical condition! I need to recognize my trigger and gateway foods and stand strong against them. It's not only okay for me to make choices that keep me focused on my goals, but I deserve to stay on track and not sabotage myself.
I need to protect me.
I need to stand up for me.
I need to make wise choices for me.
I am the only person that can keep me on track.
My health is my responsibility and I need to see it as important... even when temptation is taunting me.

So friends... as we encounter temptation this month I want to encourage you to be selfish and make you and your health a priority. Enjoy your friends, family and the special events of the season - and enjoy learning to view your health as important!



P.S. -  Hope you like the pics of some healthy Christmas treats that you can take to parties and add to the festivities.

P.P.S. - One of my favorite things about this program is that the supplemental meal fuelings are not meant to be forever - they are a tool to reach our goal of health.  Reaching a healthy weight is just one of the many steps to the program and in time we learn to transition back to eating regular foods and then maintaining a healthy weight/lifestyle.
And AFTER we get there, once we have changed our habits and are living a heathy lifestyle, we can have the occasional treat. (So basically, we're not saying goodbye to treats forever... we're just saying good-bye & see you later.)

Eating Triggers: Why do I do what I do???

Throughout this health-seeking journey I keep learning new things about myself and how I have related to food my whole life. Last weekend I learned something about myself that I think may be life changing. 

People over eat for all different kinds of reasons. Some due to stress, or boredom, or because they have a hard time controlling the powers of their cravings. Then there are some people that  overeat simply because they figure out a reason to see every meal as something special to celebrate. I've never really had these examples as my eating triggers.  But this past weekend I had a realization about myself and my eating triggers. I realized that in my past, I have overeaten and eaten the wrong things... because for some reason I see it as my responsibility to eat up food so that it is not wasted. 

It was Sunday afternoon and I went to the fridge to make lunch for the family. I had planned to have a TSFL shake during lunch that day... but then I saw the stuffing and potatoes and cranberry that was still waiting to be eaten. It was looking right at me; waving it's imaginary hands and silently chanting "over here, over here." I had my hand on the stuffing container when I said to myself, "Why are you doing this? Why?" 

I have spent the past year making good food choices and while I had a few bites of the traditional feast items on Thanksgiving... that day had passed and the holiday was officially over. 

"Why?" What a good question. My first response was to think, "well, I can't let all this food go to waste." But, the truth is there are 3 other people in our family that can eat it so "why" was I seeing it as my job to act like a human garbage disposal and clean out the fridge. Well, I was raised to not waste food... which is an important value and something that we are trying to teach our kids too. That principal in itself is not bad at all, but when that means that I see it was my responsibility to not only clean my plate but also clean out the entire fridge/pantry we have an issue. 

This revelation has brought me a unique sense of freedom. Freedom from the emotional feeling that "I have to eat" everything in the fridge. Freedom from the emotional feeling that I'm doing something bad by tossing out old leftovers. Freedom from the emotional feeling like its more important to eat whatever is there rather than putting my health first. Freedom to tell myself "It is not your job to eat... it is your job to make healthy choices about what you eat!"

What are your eating triggers? 

Identifying your triggers and coming up with a plan to change your response to those triggers can be life-altering. In this article by Dr. A, Identifying Eating Triggers - Dr. Wayne Andersen,  you can read about a variety of triggers & ways that you can develop new habits when you see yourself being triggered by food. 

I want to encourage you to not only identify your eating triggers, but also come up with a plan for the next time you are faced with your trigger. The opportunity to shift directions and create a new healthy eating habit is within your control. Believe in yourself - I believe in you! 

Have a fantastic weekend!

-Kelly